How to ask for a Female led relationship

One of the hardest things about creating a Female-led relationship is asking for one in the first place.  This is especially true if your relationship up to this point has been mostly, or all, vanilla.  A female-led relationship isn't based on kink.  It can often be vanilla, simply a case of She wears the pants and controls the household in what ever way suits her.  But women are often brought up that men are the boss and a woman's place is in the kitchen.  My own mother-in-law definitely has that view.  And while society is moving away, slowly, from such an outdated attitude, the idea of the woman in a marriage / relationship assuming full control may seem a bit extreme to some. 

So how do you approach the subject without seeming "weird" to someone who has never expressed a desire or a need for control?

If your relationship already has some kind of kink involved this may be simpler.  You already know she is open to new experiences.  This post will assume your relationship is mostly or completely kink free.

The first thing to do is keep it simple.  Leave any kinky ideas out for the moment.  Us guys often have a specific idea in mind of how we want this FLR to play out.  Whip-wielding dominatrix's barking orders at us are often part of our fantasy.  Often chastity, cuckolding, pegging and all sorts of other kinky play may be at the back of our minds.

But there's one thing you need to remember.  If you are asking your woman to take control of you then you have to back up and LET her take that control.

Her way.

This may not involve anything you have fantasized about.  But you have told her you want to give control to her so you're just going to have to accept that many of the ideas lurking in the back of your mind will have to stay there....for now.

It's no good saying I want you to take control of me, but you have to do it this way, or you have to include this or that activity.  That is not giving her control.  And, again, if your relationship has been mainly vanilla she may not want to do any of those things at all.  She may just want you to help with the housework, to take some of the load off and be a big help to her.  The biggest side effect of this will be a happier wife which will lead to a happier, healthier marriage.  And you still get her taking charge of you.  Everybody wins.

Keep it very simple.  You could start by offering to do some of the chores.  Be more attentive to her.  Giver her more affection.  Offer to give her foot and back rubs.  Open doors for her.  This may seem old-fashioned these days but she will appreciate these little gestures.  Listen to her, REALLY listen.  When she's talking focus 100% of your attention on what she's saying.  Try to anticipate her needs. If she questions the changes in your behavior, or if she shows appreciation for how much more attentive you are, tell her youwant to make her happy.  Ask her what else you can do to make her life easier. 

At some point, as long as she's happy with the way things are progressing, you can sit down and talk to her to make it more official.  After all, stealth submitting isn't very satisfying for long.  She's going to want to know what is going on anyway.  When you do talk to her, avoid using words like submit or slave or anything that refers to a BDSM lifestyle.  You can say your main focus is on her happiness.  tell her you're really enjoying doing things for her and you'd like to do more.  Tell her you want to give her the lead and let her assume as much control as she wants in your relationship.  Assure her you will support her all the way. 

She may get distressed, thinking you're not happy with the relationship you already have with her.  Reassure her that everything is fine.  In the beginning It may take her a while to get used to the idea of taking control of you.  You can help her by obeying her instructions without question, even if she gives you chores you don't like doing.  Give her as much reassurance as she needs that everything is good and you're happy being told what to do.

If she is resistant to the idea of taking the lead,, don't push.  Keep doing what you're doing to make her life easier.  Show her by your deeds that you're committed to doing things for her.  Let her see for herself the benefits of a husband who is focused on fulfilling her needs.  Sometimes this is a battle you're just not going to win.  But at least you will know you tried your best to make it happen.  Some women just don't want to have control.